Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Purr-manent Tax Cuts

My name is Clawdius and I am a Flamepoint Siamese. I have slightly crossed eyes as a result of all my deep-thinking. I am very intelligent and would like to share some of my insights with you.

I have been at Purr-Angels for two years now. I was adopted once, but I was returned to the shelter a few days later because my new person didn't quite see eye to eye with me. (This could be due to the fact that I am, as I said before, a bit cross-eyed.) Anyway, since returning to Purr-Angels, I have given a lot of serious thought to all of the pros and cons of adoption, and I have reached a number of conclusions.

First, I would like to emphasize that, although I am very happy living here at the shelter...I have a lot of friends and I am quite comfortable in my surroundings...I would very much like to have a home to call my own, as would most of the other cats who live here! However, it seems that good homes are in short supply. I think I may have come up with a solution to fix that!

I call it my Income Tax Purr-posal.

Here is how it works:

Since I spend most of my weekends watching Bulls and Bears marathons (Annie thinks it's some sort of nature show and faithfully records every episode for us), I often hear a lot of discussions regarding people's desire for purr-manent tax cuts. As a result, there is one thing that I have learned for sure: Humans like their tax cuts even more than I like my prime cuts. So, it just stands to reason that if people could get tax cuts for their pets, they would most likely adopt a lot more pets, too!

Therefore, under my Tax Purr-posal, everyone who has a pet would be able to deduct their pet on their income taxes, just like they do their children. (To avoid abuses, it would be mandatory that each pet be licensed AND spayed or neutered.) That way, instead of the government spending tax dollars warehousing animals, they would actually be promoting responsible pet guardianship!

Now, can you just imagine all the people who would be standing in line to adopt an homeless animal? The animal shelters wouldn't be able to keep up with the demand! And what's more, my plan doesn't stop there!

As we all know, disabled and older animals have a much harder time finding good homes...Well, I have that covered, too! Here is an example of what my Tax Table would look like:



  • Pets 0 to Age 5= $1,000 deduction.

  • Pets 5 to Age 10= $1,500 deduction.

  • Pets 10 years and Up= $2,000 deduction.

  • Disabled Pets (any age)= $2,500



  • Voila! Disabled and older pets would suddenly become the pick of the litter!
    I really think I'm onto something here! What do you think?
    It just seems to me that, rather than creating more animal shelters, it would make a lot more sense to create tax shelters for us instead!